Am I a stranger?

I really struggled to jot down my thoughts onto paper (or in this case, my laptop) this week. I have so many ideas of what I what to write and share with you, but for some reason, I just couldn’t find the words or motivations this week.

I was lucky enough to attend the St Ann’s Open Show last weekend (I make this sound like it is an exclusive event!). It was here that I started to think and realise what I was doing there. For the first time in the long time, I felt like a stranger in my own (former) home. For the place I had called home for 2.5 years, no longer felt like it. I knew many people there, but still felt like a stranger. Why? Why was I feeling so disconnected?

I think I took my years at college for granted. I made the besets friends, shared the greatest experiences and got to do a lot of things I could only dream about. This was really a home away from home for me. But why was I a stranger all of a sudden?

I spent most of the night looking (and chasing after) my friend Ryan, who decided to consume his yearly alcohol intake in one night. It was here, constantly walking around that I really felt like I didn’t belong. Was it because I wasn’t sharing this experience with my close friends? I began to realise that it was the friends and experiences that made my college experience unforgettable, rather than the physical presence of the college.

Dont get me wrong, I wouldn’t change my college experience at all. Those 2.5 years really shaped me into the person I am today. Independent – which is something you really need when you move out on your own. I matured a lot during my time there. Starting off as an innocent 18 year old, with big dreams and no money. To a 20 year old girl still with big dreams and no money, except later on that year I was making my dreams come true.

Which leads me to my American college experience. Living on campus at Buff State was sooo different to St Ann’s. From the rooms, people and excessive amount of rules. I definitely felt more like a stranger in these dorms rather than at St Ann’s. But again, these experiences have helped me to realise just how lucky I am. I was fortunate enough to attend college in both Australia and America, something others can only dream about. I think a lot of us takes these experiences for granted. We expect them. But what would my life be like and how would I be if I wasn’t fortunate enough to have these opportunities? I can tell you right now I would be very rich, probably with my own island and private jet. I’ll keep on dreaming though.

Although I thought I would enjoy my night at college on Saturday a lot more (it was a great party btw), I was extremely happy and overwhelmed with the amount of people I saw who said “I read your blog”. This truly is the best compliment I can receive, as I am still a little bit scared and nervous to write this. Scared that no one is going to like what I am saying, or they simply think I am a terrible writer and should stop – (please let me know if this is the case!!!).

Please remember to appreciate all the successes and opportunities you have received. These have made you into the person you are today, for the better! xxxx

 

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